changed blog

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Savior.

Raw in soul,
Soft in spirit,
Can't escape the depth and
Longing for the light.

Frail, alone,
Walking when I fear it
This is what it means to live,
This is what it means to fight.

I wake in morning,
It's silence that disturbs my sound
I look, I'm nowhere
Small enough to not be found.

I'm skin,
I'm human,
My heart is thinner than I'm used to
I'm sick, I'm bleeding,
I fear that I have bruised you.

But intimate and sweet you are, when layers shed their weight,
Mercy here runs deeper than
The countenance of Savior.

Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner

The Gumblers - A Children's Tale

These are the gumbler stories I tell
Of their lives in a murkey, blackened realm,
Alight with only a beam from above
That glowed on the ground around a well,
Those creatures loved the liquids bright
So they cupped them in bubbles of silver delight.
Clink, clunk, clink, clunk
You never heard the gumblers cry,
Their eyes were fixed and their faces, sunk,
And not one of them looked to the lighted sky.

There were three gumbler girls with scrawny hips
And lipsticks that smeared on their thin-cracked lips,
With grim-green necks all draped in jewels,
They drew a slew of gumbler fools
To bewitch them all with bubbles twinkling
Between their fingers, fat and wrinkling.
Click, clunk, click, clunk,
You never heard the gumblers cry,
Their eyes were fixed and their faces, sunk,
And not one of them looked to the lighted sky.

There was a giant mole with crooked hands
Lugging six buckets of water to lands
Where gumblers wanted more than their share,
Promising one day a bucket he’d spare,
So gumblers came from far and wide
Fastened their chains, and followed behind.
Click, clunk, click, clunk,
You never heard the gumblers cry,
Their eyes were fixed and their faces, sunk,
And not one of them looked to the lighted sky.

There once was a gumbler who chased the mole,
Then fell right into a mercury hole!
And everyone sighed and clucked and said,
“He should have seen that crater ahead,
We’d help him get out, if only we could,
But one mile more and a bucket we’ll hold!”
Click, clunk, click, clunk,
You never heard the gumblers cry,
Their eyes were fixed and their faces, sunk,
And not one of them looked to the lighted sky.

That poor gumbler did sit all night in the pit
Where no one else saw him throwing a fit
He knew not what to do with no light
On which to fix his eyes through the night
He wailed and—yes—he cried, he did,
For waterless, he had never been
Click, clunk, click, clunk,
Was the time I heard a gumbler cry,
His eyes were dull and his face was sunk,
And he knew not to look to the lighted sky.

And that gumbler was sad until he saw
Such a sight he had never seen at all
A gumbler who did not look like the rest
For she held no bubble of happiness
With hands scot-free and skin aglow
Her eyes were locked on a heavenly flow.
Click, thrive, click, revive,
Was the time a gumbler ceased to cry,
His eyes were at rest, and his face, alive,
When he gazed for love of the lighted sky.

Illusive.

Wonder wells with dreams in my watery eyes.
A touch, a wrinkle, a smirk.
All feeling was forgotten until the bright-eyed phantom came...
We press our gaze through blurry windows
For arcane sky and moving planes.

Escaping in its soft, but brilliant light
We light it up and live to love and wisp away like paper.
Illusive. Transient as feather.
Like birds who fly and fly from place to place
With sweeping grace to spiraling down
We lit it up and lived for love and sang a lovely song,
Dreaming.
Waking to a hollow sound.

Starvation After Fill.

I was hungry, but not starved. Walking through the forest, my legs were tired, but I could go on. The air was chilly but not freezing.

Then I passed a house with broken shutters
And would have kept on going but--

A boy outside with brilliant eyes played thoughtfully with nature's toys.
Curiosity slowed me, I thought the colors interesting
Then in stillness, surrounding me, were memories of a million joys.

Stopping let my body feel its longing to rest.
The sweeping scent of food was one I knew that I could not forget.
The air seemed colder now for thought
of the spell a crackling fire brought
Years ago.

I didn't want to be trapped, I had places to see.
What if stopping there meant that I would never leave?
Fingers rested on the knob, debating what to do...

Then vidid flash of poverty, freezing in the snow
Thrown out from inside, the nights of resting warm
That gnawing pain of hunger made me vomit
but never could I die from it,
only wait in it.

That is why I started moving.

I will not forfeit motion, my saving grace from hell
I've learned to love the chill of morning, fatigue that keeps my legs from stopping.
I'd rather have hunger unrealized than starvation after fill.

Aim for Want, and Cause for War

From restful stillness I awake in
Boldness; dawning day and brilliant light
And coldness; Wrapped inside the morning haze,
Is fullness I've never felt before.

Broken beauty meets me,
On streets where so completely
Ruined relics lie unconscious to their mastery.

Oh, these are pages I couldn't read before.

In winter I was filled with love so ancient
His visage I would dream but could not trace it
Till in springtime I lay quiet, waiting, vacant
For an anchor and a song.

Then a summer I never knew would come
Came in colors I couldn't see before
There were rains that I never knew could pour
Such brilliant hues on a pallid world

It's a love like this I was waiting for
To give aim for want; and cause for war.