Longing for Nothing

If the worst evil i feel tonight
Is my aching, desperate longing
I will be okay for it will be
Forgotten in the morning.

Progress will fancy itself to be
Meaningful.
While underneath my motion,
The soil of my soul will suffer
One more day of
Swift and soft erosion.

In motion I am free.
In forgetfulness I'm beautiful.
In city lights I change hues but
In myself I am nothing.

I am in love with light,
But I am only shifting shadow
I am dishonest.

Because in stillness I'm not free
In reality I'm ugly
I am beautiful inventions
Webbed in lies beneath the masking.

In battle fire I felt safe, for I could not be killed.
But nights like these, in naked silence
Questions like arrows begin to gnaw away my armor
What am I really desperate for?
What am I really longing for?

I cannot be just desperate
I cannot be just longing.
For nothing.